Wednesday, December 5, 2012

More Thoughts on Letting Go

Several years ago I wrote a post on juggling. The post was about how juggling is not so much about catching as it was about letting go. I feel like I've been having a lot of lessons lately on letting go.

Marina is finishing up this semester and will have only one semester before she finishes her associate's degree in the visual arts. A good portion of this semester has been spent working on putting together her portfolio. Her college had a portfolio day in November. She had the opportunity to show her work to three art schools. I was so supportive as she prepared for this event. I even suggested she throw in a doll she had made on her own. I know she loves talking about the crafts she does in her free time and I figured it would open her up.

Isn't it cute? She made the doll and all the accessories. It is completely hand-stitched. It also has a back story. This was important. The colleges loved that she had so much concept based art, rather than simply doing assignments for the sake of getting the assignment done. Chalk it up to her love of stories and storytelling. I think it's almost impossible for her to create something without pouring her heart into it.

So she went into portfolio day a nervous wreck and came out glowing from the positive reviews of her work. She had shown her portfolio and doll to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, the Maine College of Art, and the Hartford Art School. At least two of them were ready to take her right there.

And that's when it hit me. Marina might not be living at home much longer. I was so happy for her, and at the same time I wanted to grab her and hold on tight. Just as I described learning to juggle and how it is sometimes hard to let go of that third ball, sometimes it is hard to let go of that first child.

These children of ours grow so quickly. We share a fraction of their life with them. I'm so glad I was courageous enough to homeschool them, so that I could make the most of our time together. Now I'm building up the courage to let them fly.

I hope they know that just like when I juggle, I will always have a hand ready to catch them. Just in case. I know I will only hold them long enough to let them go again.


christinethecurious said...

Speaking of Marina, I do have a test knitting (with yarn) opportunity, if she isn't over the top busy with college! It's a pair of mittens, so not a huge project, and there is enough yarn she could easily make something else with it as well. No need to finish before Christmas and interrupt her gift knitting. I'm ChristineGuest on Ravelry if she want's to message me, or she can leave a comment on

If you do go over the bridge to Nyack, Gypsy donuts and Turiello's pizza are marvey as well, and Pickwick's bookstore really is as charming as it looks.

Kez said...

I'm glad I have a few years yet before I have to cope with that :) Glad she went well though.

Paula Vince said...

What a time of change ahead of all of you. I remember the post on juggling you were referring to. I'll be thinking of you all, trying to choose the right Art school for Marina. That doll is gorgeous too :) Seeing a family member spread her wings must bring so many conflicting feelings to you.

flmom said...

Hard to explain, but there is much wisdom in this post I needed to read today. The doll is beautiful! She deserves all the positive reviews she received!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Marina! Of course we all know you're very talented but it's wonderful when you receive praise from recognized experts such as these colleges.

Tina - a bittersweet time for you. Consider it practice letting go for the next 2.

Love, Linda

Inner Elder said...

Marina's creations are works of art. Of course the schools recognize her gift and want her as a student. She will bring her special presence and presents wherever she goes. I miss her already! It is hard to let go but your juggling analogy helps. Love, Mom/Grandma

Linda said...

Marina's doll is beautiful, love it!
I can't imagine what it feels like to be that close to having to let go. I have a 7th grader, and am stressing about letting go enough to homeschool high school ( is helping me get ready for that one!)
You reminded me of something my mom told me when I was getting ready to move out for the first time. I was worried that she would be upset, instead she told me how proud of me she was that I felt confident enough to make that step. Her words were, "I didn't raise you up to keep you, I did it so I can let you go. If you are ready to go, then I need to be ready to let you go."
I am inspired by your serenity and courage. Merry Christmas!

jugglingpaynes said...

You have a wise mom. I'm glad I helped you remember that!

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