Several years ago I wrote a post on juggling. The post was about how juggling is not so much about catching as it was about letting go. I feel like I've been having a lot of lessons lately on letting go.
Marina is finishing up this semester and will have only one semester before she finishes her associate's degree in the visual arts. A good portion of this semester has been spent working on putting together her portfolio. Her college had a portfolio day in November. She had the opportunity to show her work to three art schools. I was so supportive as she prepared for this event. I even suggested she throw in a doll she had made on her own. I know she loves talking about the crafts she does in her free time and I figured it would open her up.
So she went into portfolio day a nervous wreck and came out glowing from the positive reviews of her work. She had shown her portfolio and doll to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, the Maine College of Art, and the Hartford Art School. At least two of them were ready to take her right there.
And that's when it hit me. Marina might not be living at home much longer. I was so happy for her, and at the same time I wanted to grab her and hold on tight. Just as I described learning to juggle and how it is sometimes hard to let go of that third ball, sometimes it is hard to let go of that first child.
These children of ours grow so quickly. We share a fraction of their life with them. I'm so glad I was courageous enough to homeschool them, so that I could make the most of our time together. Now I'm building up the courage to let them fly.
I hope they know that just like when I juggle, I will always have a hand ready to catch them. Just in case. I know I will only hold them long enough to let them go again.