On Juggling

(Reprinted and slightly edited from the original, which you can find in the sidebar. I write, therefore I rewrite.)

A lot of people seem to use juggling as a metaphor for trying to handle so many factors in their life. Being an actual juggler, this started me thinking...

You see, Juggling Paynes really had nothing to do with the kids. This was the name my husband and I used when we started performing juggling shows. I never even noticed the metaphor until another homeschooler pointed it out to me years ago. She hadn't realized I could actually juggle. She just thought I used the term to describe my homeschooling life.

Here's the secret to juggling: I only think about one object at a time. When a ball or club (or knife or torch) is in my hand, that is my focus. Yes, I'm watching everything else, but for that brief moment, the object in my hand is the most important thing. Once I send it into the air, I can't do anything about it. Either I've thrown it well and it ends up in the other hand, or I've thrown it poorly and it ends up on the floor. While it is airborne, I can't do anything about it! For me, this is more a metaphor of faith, not of handling too many things. How many times have I tried to teach someone to juggle and they couldn't let go of that next ball? They're afraid of dropping it, or not having enough time to catch the ball heading toward that hand. Whatever the reason, it comes down to not trusting themselves, not having faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I always say, juggling is about throwing, not catching! Throw well and the catches will take care of themselves!

If I spend too much time thinking about what might happen, I will never throw. Life has no guarantees. I can throw perfectly and still miss the catch because of a sudden gust of wind, the sun in my eyes, or any number of reasons. There are some things that are simply out of our control. But if I don't throw, I will never know what happens! I won't see the possibility of that beautiful pattern forming in front of me. That is where faith enters. I provide the best throw I can, and trust it to reach my waiting hand. Then I move on to the next throw.

Let go, my friends! Have faith!

A Couple of Things....

I haven't done a profile update in a while. We were recently playing in the yard, so I had my husband take this photo for me:

Honestly, these kids are getting heavy. I may not have many more years left in me to do this. We estimated that their combined weights put them over 300 lbs. On my back. Ooch.

I also forgot to mention an essay I wrote was posted on the This I Believe site. I submitted the essay in October and it was posted the end of April, which was my crazy busy time, so I completely forgot about it until now.My essay is titled Finding the Lightness of Being. If you've never done it, I recommend this site as a way to really think about and share the core values that carry us through our days and to learn about the beliefs of others.

And just so you all know, Blogger is having some sort of issue, so I have been getting your comments, but I haven't been able to post them. Hopefully, it will be cleared up soon!

UPDATE: It appears the issue has been fixed and no comments have been lost. Huzzah!

Playing with Fire (no, really)

I've been itching to use my torches for a while. Today the stars aligned, the weather cooperated, and hubby fired up the grill. I did a juggling workshop today, so I was in the mood for some serious props. I grabbed my torches to give them a whirl. Enjoy the pictures!






Marina took the pictures. This last one blurred, but I loved the effect.

Knife Juggling and Cake

Some highlights from hubby's birthday: Juggling knives

The dreaded under-the-leg trick:



Chase is becoming quite the photographer. This next photo is my favorite:



Not bad, eh? While he played, I thawed the Cold Stone ice cream cake.



And no, I didn't let him cut the cake with those knives.

If I had a Hammer (Or two, Or three.)

I love this video. I need to try this. Just the hammering while juggling part, not the scary pointy part. I know I would end up with holes in the ceiling. Enjoy.

Juggling at D and K's

Here we are juggling with our friends in Connecticut. BTW, that white across the lower part of my black T-shirt is actually a friend's Web address. (Thanks Michael)

Happy Birthday, Hubby!

A long, long time ago in a city far away...

Chapter XLVII

A New Happy Birthday

Today is a great day in our family force.
It is a time of celebration. A celebration of
life. My best friend in the galaxy, father to my children,
juggling partner and long suffering
spouse, was born on this Day!

May the force be with him!

Beautiful days outside

On the left, Sierra makes a new friend in the garden. On the right, hubby and I practice back to back juggling, which I'm thinking of renaming "Trust." You pass clubs overhead to your partner. And we're a little out of practice. Sound scary? On this day we hit each other several times in the shoulder. But I had the sun in my eyes. I find this a good way to reconnect with my husband when we've been busy. The past few years have been very busy. I juggle and teach juggling on my own from time to time, but we don't often get to practice together.
Our clubs are from Dube Juggling. There's a link in the sidebar for anyone who's interested. We've used these for at least ten years, in shows and practice, so you can see they're built to last.

Billy G.

I've been trying to find a good picture of my friend, Billy Gillen, to put on the site this week. It hasn't been an easy task. I've been going through a plastic bin full of old pictures. We're talking pre-children here, so I'm sifting through 14+ years of poorly marked photo envelopes.
Why take on this task, you say? Who is Billy G., you may ask? He was a wonderful friend, a great juggler and runner, a self-styled "balloonatic" and he died way too young (35) from stomach cancer.
The reason I started this search was that yesterday marked the 14th anniversary of the first bombing of the World Trade Center. The bombing happened to occur the day after our friend Billy passed away. I can't keep dates in my head well, but the anniversary of events can send me back to a moment in time. The crazy thing is, Billy G. was very connected in my mind to the World Trade Center. He once sneaked into the stairwell to try to break a record for running to the top. My first thought when I saw the bombing was, "Gee, Billy dies and look what happens. The whole world goes crazy."
More than once, Billy G. ran in the NYC marathon while juggling 5 balls. He encouraged my husband and I to street perform, giving us time at his space in front of the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. He would go to dumps in the middle of the night to practice double whip cracking tricks. When he visited for our "apartment warming," he let loose a bag full of helium balloons and made balloon hats for everyone. To coin a phrase used by my friend CarpeBanana, he was a "Geronimo" person. Most of all, he loved children and it's unfortunate he never settled down and had some of his own. He died while I was pregnant with Marina. I truly regret that none of my kids got to know this gifted clown. He was born to make others happy.
To illustrate: When Billy was in the hospital after some cancer treatment, he was being wheeled down a hall and ran into a little boy, also undergoing treatment. In a voice weak and scratchy he said to the boy, "You look like you could use a balloon hat." He proceeded to take out his balloons and with his family's help he pumped them up and twisted them into shape (he didn't have the strength to do this on his own). When it was set on the boy's head, Billy sat back in his wheelchair, his eyes wide and said, "Wow!"
Now I must go find a picture.
Ah ha! Here is Billy G.



Above is my dad modeling one of Billy's creations. You can tell they are kindred spirits.

We love you, Billy. We won't forget you.

Send Me Birthday Wishes!

Today is my birthday. I'm 38!!!!
As a present to myself, I will now show how I support my family...


Told ya I was weird...
But seriously, I am the backbone


^ I made this one up. Below is a seat to little feet and an assisted feet to hands...

Now if you're looking at this, the least you can do is wish me a happy birthday! 38 *sigh*

Tricks and Treats!

Here's a treat for my blogger buddies. Dusty has a habit of jumping on my shoulder, so I thought I'd see if I could juggle with her up there. (Any similarities between me and my comic strip mom, Jess, is purely coincidental.) Below, I'm juggling 5 balls, which is my limit. The fifth ball got a little cut off at the top, but I promise it's not stuck on the ceiling! Tricks as a treat! Enjoy!