Monday, December 3, 2007

The Specter of Giving

If you give a charity a donation, they're going to give you some address labels.

If you like the address labels, you might give them another donation.

When they get the second donation, they're going to tell all of their charity friends how generous you are.

And then they'll send you a calendar.

When you get all of the donation requests in the mail, you might find two or three more charities that you want to give to.

So you'll write a few more checks.

The charities will be so excited, they'll send even more address labels, along with some note cards. They also might send their magazines and newsletters.

Maybe you'll even get a blanket or stuffed animal.

You'll realize you don't write enough letters for the amount of cards, envelopes, and labels you now own.

So they'll send you some gift wrap.

It's too bad you prefer gift bags.

One of them will realize you like gift bags and send some. Unfortunately, you've given so many donations you can't afford to buy presents.

With all the labels, cards and envelopes, you can write to everyone you know every day for years. You also get so many magazines each day your postman is giving you dirty looks.

And you have enough blankets to keep yourself warm during a blizzard. Which is good because you didn't have enough money to pay the heating bill after you gave money to all your charities.

So you stop donating. But the requests and gifts keep coming.

You start wondering how they spent your money in the first place.

You decide to donate to the charity that sent the least amount of gifts, reasoning that they must actually need the money.

And chances are,

If you give them a donation,

They're going to send you some address labels.

This was inspired by Laura Numeroff's If You Give a Mouse a Cookie book series.


Inner Elder said...

Amen to this blog! You read my thoughts. See my blog today - yes I finally got back to blogging - on Christmas Shopping Season.

Love, Mom

Angel said...

Happy Birthday

ComfyDenim said...

I think much of my life is a "If you give a mouse a cookie" moment.

And this post is soooo true.
I read *Somewhere* (Can't remember where... Family Fun?) that a family makes donations out in the names of their children and their children get the address labels. (And probably subsequent junk mail. *LOL*)

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