Friday, February 11, 2011

Bean There, Done That

Sierra has been bothering us for the past few days (weeks?) about giving her an email address. Two of her friends have email and since it is sometimes difficult to get them together, I agreed that it might be a good thing to have. Anything to keep her writing.

Last night my husband (Tech Support) set up her brand new email. It had been a long day for me, driving here, there and everywhere, and I didn't really get to look at my email until 11Pm. Sierra had sent me the following email:

from Sierra
subject Mom......
to You

Sorry I couldn't say this to you in person........ I was just too scared. I by accident stuck a bean in my ear........... Please don't be mad.:'(

Now, I'm a homeschooler, I'm a mom. My thought process went something like this...
Hm. This is well written. Did Sierra really write it? Could it be spam? How can I get spam from her email address already? It must be a joke. Why would she think I would be mad? How can anyone get a bean stuck in their ear?

I get up to find her. She is watching me with that guilty look I know so well.

Me: Did you really put a bean in your ear?
Sierra: *nods*
Me: Why would you do that?
Sierra: *shrugs*

I find the flashlight and try to maneuver it while I look in her ear. We had been using black beans as counters for various math games. I didn't think they could possibly be small enough to fit in an ear. To be honest, I didn't think my eight year old would consider trying to stick a bean in her ear. But here we are. I scan her ear, and hand Chase the flashlight so I can hold her ear open enough to look deeper. I can't see anything bean-like. I ask if she's sure it got in her ear and didn't fall off onto the couch. She's unsure. I start moving blanket throws around and find various black beans. I hold them up like a police line-up. "Is this your bean?" No. "Is this your bean?" No. "Is this your bean?" Not sure. Maybe.

I decide I should at least look in the other ear for contrast. As far as I can tell, they both look the same to me. But now Sierra isn't sure which ear she put the bean into.

Me: How can you be unsure?
Sierra: I didn't do it today.
Me: Well, when did you do it?
Sierra: Two or three days ago.
Me: *speechless*

I try to remain calm, but I'm teetering between annoyance and the urge to burst out in laughter at how surreal my life is. My husband and I explain how serious this could be, since you don't want to do anything that might damage the ear. My husband calls the doctor to see if we need to make a midnight run to the ER or if it can wait until morning. I imagine possible House, M.D. scenarios where my daughter is convulsing before Dr. House realizes the problem is a bean in her ear. The doctor decided we could wait until morning and come in to have the ear checked.

Incidentally, after she went to bed I showed her father and Marina the email. Marina mentioned that Sierra had asked her how to spell "by accident." She asked whether there was a space. She didn't know if it was one word or two. It may have been inappropriate, but we all ended up laughing until we couldn't breathe. I guess I should be happy that my youngest now has this new way to communicate with me. Considering all of our past adventures with Sierra--putting antiseptic gel on her tongue at two (call to poison control), unscrewing the safety cap on her brother's asthma meds and taking several (that was the second call to poison control that week), eating several bottles worth of homeopathic remedies (should have hid them better), hiding in our car and covered in scribbles at five (that one involved a call to the police)--a bean in the ear seems like...small potatoes.

And there was, indeed, a bean in her ear. The doctor managed to pull it out with a tiny scoop tool. Sierra is fine, and allowed me to write up the experience. The reason I couldn't see it is because it had turned white. I suppose I would have eventually noticed it sprouting out her ear.


flmom said...

Oh my goodness. I have to admit, I laughed. Homeschooling and homeschooled kids are always such an adventure (and I wouldn't trade it!). I'm glad the dr. was able to safely remove it from her ear and all is well.

Inner Elder said...

I think you can be a writer of a comedy show, starring Sierra. Glad she's OK because that meant it was OK for me to laugh. I love the way she e-mailed you - a true child of the 21st century. Love, Mom

Anonymous said...

I love your family. Thanks for sharing :-)

Oh, and I'm glad you got it all sorted out before the bean sprouted.


~*~The Family~*~ said...

Sounds better than a rock up the nose and into the sinsus cavity. We made to a trip to the ER for that one time. Tell Sierra it is way to early in the year for planting beans.

jugglingpaynes said...

Ouch about the rock up the nose! And LOL about bean planting season!

Maureen said...

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh! I really needed it. It has been a long week with my two-year old daughter. After reading all the things that Sierra has gotten into, my daughter doing things like dumping water all over the place seems like small change. Kind of puts it all in perspective. The one thing that you did not follow up on in a "homeschooler, let's use this to study science" way is why in the world did the bean turn white? Is it a reaction to ear wax? I don't think I'll conduct our own experiment to find out and I seriously doubt I can find the answer on Wikipedia. :-)

Mama Self said...

Wow. Ok, now I feel Like I had a boring week. ;) Glad she's alright and is enjoying her new email abilities.

jugglingpaynes said...

LOL! We were discussing the bean's change in color! Black beans have an outer black coating and then they are white underneath. All I can figure is that maybe water got into her ear from a bath? Or maybe that ear wax did react with it. Or maybe it was actually germinating. I might set up an experiment or two... :o)

Amanda, the Head Nut said...

When one of my daughters was a toddler she put craft foam up her nose. We had to go to a specialist to get that one out.

My other daughter (about 4 at the time) told us she put "dog food" in her ear. My husband took her to the doctor and the doctor flushed and flushed and flushed the ear, but all that came up was a tiny plastic nugget. Turns out it was her Barbie Dog's food that came with a Barbie set. The doctor actually got mad because it wasn't real dog food.
I'm glad your adventure had a happy ending!

Maureen said...

LOL! Glad to hear you were able to work in some science to you medical emergency.

Karen said...

This reminds of something that happened in our home last December, when my ten-year-old tearfully told me that knew what the f-word means, having overheard an uncle use it at Thanksgiving. He waited weeks to tell us this, because he thought we would be mad that he knew what it was... amazing what they think will make us mad. And what they think is perfectly fine!

I'm glad everything worked out, and also that you have this new way to communicate with your daughter too.

Janet said...

We had to take our four year old to quick care last year when he was convinced he'd got a sticker stuck in his ear and kept telling me it "hurts!"

The doctor didn't find anything in his ear and Jake found a sticker stuck to his shirt that he determined must be from when, "it fell out." Luckily it was the end of the day at quick care and the doctor and nurse both joined in the laughter.

I'm glad Sierra's bean turned out okay (and made good laughs for the rest of us)!

Kez said...

LOL! Glad it had a happy ending!!

The Faithful Homeschool said...

What a wonderful and light-hearted posted. Wonderful laugh... reminds me of my oldest daughter!! LOL Thanks so much for sharing!

Risa said...

You're not alone. A couple weeks ago, my 8 year old shoved a penny up his nose, then couldn't pull it out. He did this in the car as we were coming home from shopping, so I couldn't do much except get home, telling him the whole way to stop touching (so he wouldn't push it any deeper). I did manage to remove it with tweezers once home. My SAD light box made a fine stand-in operating light. :-)
Now, as for why he did this, when we asked him? " DO they do those magic tricks where they pull a coin out of your body, like your nose or behind your ear? LOL!

Nancy said...

Your last sentence got me.
Thanks for sharing another not-so-typical incident in the life of a homeschooling family!
Ring true,

Vicki said...

First thought: Bwhahahahahhahahaha!!! Seirra!!!

Second thought: I got boring kids! They never tried this sort of science.

Keeley said...

Oh my gosh!!! Hahahahahahaaaa! That's AWESOME! And how wonderful she was able to get up the courage to tell you over email. =) What a sweet girl.
The things she's got into! Hahaha!!! =D

Jessica said...

I died laughing at this late hour. I love it! That is so funny, cute and adorable.

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