I'm no Wonder Woman

I don't want to be Wonder Woman. I just want to look good in the costume. And I want a lasso of truth. I think I already possess super strength (see my profile picture if you don't believe me.)

Wonder Woman was probably one of the first superheroes I was interested in. My family watched Lynda Carter fight for truth, justice and the American way, all while keeping her hair and makeup perfect and looking really good in a leotard. I even had my own Wonder Woman action figure, which was probably the only female action figure back then. I probably should have held on to it. I'll bet it's worth a lot of money now.

Today I did some thinking about this iconic superhero. Something important occurred to me. Wonder Woman never had kids. Sure, she took care of her kid sister from time to time, but she never experienced the joys of pregnancy, birth and a two year old in the toy department. Her name, Diana, comes from the Roman goddess of the hunt who, along with Athena, proudly defended her virginity. Wonder Woman's Amazon powers are tied to her virginity. Which is silly when you think about it. Because some of the strongest women I know are moms. This might be part of the reason why I ended up favoring the Marvel heroes. I distinctly remember reading an issue of the Fantastic Four where the Invisible Woman fought supervillains while she was pregnant. That's a woman I can identify with. If only she wasn't an "invisible" woman.

Marina reminded me of the best mom hero I've seen, Mrs. Incredible. Super flexibility. That's an important requirement for a mom. There are a lot of demands for her time and attention, so she needs to be flexible to manage it all. And elasticity helps as she's pulled in all directions by her family's needs. I could definitely see myself as Mrs. Incredible.

But today, I will simply dress as Wonder Woman, because I have the t-shirt. That reminds me of another neat talent Wonder Woman had. She simply spins to change into costume. That would be useful.

Home Spun comic strip #673

Happy Halloween!

Beyonders: A Review of Book 1

I just finished the book Beyonders: A World Without Heroes by Brandon Mull, author of Fablehaven. This first installment of a trilogy is an action-packed adventure, full of gripping suspense, intrigue and enough funny scenes to keep the story moving. The plot revolves around two teens, Jason and Rachel, who find themselves transported to the world of Lyrian where they meet and become caught up in a rebellion against the evil wizard Maldor.

Among the many reasons I enjoyed the story is that the author offered the most realistic depiction of a homeschooler I've ever read in Juvenile Fiction. I hope other homeschoolers consider reading this book. It was pressed upon me by my own two homeschooled teenagers, Marina and Chase. Marina had discovered it at the library and picked it up because she "liked the cover." Which shows that sometimes it is a good idea to judge books by their covers. It is well written and full of interesting parts that appeal to my geekiness. I highly recommend this book. The only problem with it is that we will have to wait until Spring 2012 for the second installment. Gah!

Home Spun comic strip #672

College after Homeschooling, Part 2

Part 1 can be found here.

Whether they are full or part-time, handling several classes or only one, living at home or staying in a dorm, college is a new situation for teenagers. They are beginning to be treated as adults. Responsibilities appear. They are now expected to keep track of their schedule, learn time-management, know when it is appropriate to drop a class, how to complain about unfair grading, and how to find help when problems arise. Some kids handle these changes well, but some become stressed and overwhelmed.

Marina's first college semester was one class, English 101. Readers of my blog might remember me talking about it last year. My serious young student looked at her syllabus for the class and was already overwhelmed. How would she get everything done? We spent a lot of time calming her, reminding her that these were guidelines, and explaining that she should take the work one assignment at a time. But every assignment began with tears and fears before she could set to work. A lot of her worries reminded me of my own beginnings at college. I was extremely studious, entered the honors program, and worked very hard at my classes. But unlike my experience, Marina was younger and coming from a nontraditional schooling experience. She felt like she needed to prove that she belonged there. Because she only had one class, she believed she had to be perfect in it. I didn't realize it right away, but she also felt she had to show that she was well educated. She was representing the homeschooling world. This was not a problem I was familiar with.

Of course, she did very well in the class. She received high marks on her essays. She did well during class discussions. The professor was so impressed by her, she suggested Marina apply for the honors program. Marina would tell me about students that barely showed up for classes, handed in assignments late, and never participated in class. Before one class, she commiserated with other students about the amount of classwork. At one point, the class successfully managed to push back a deadline on an assignment. You might think all of this would have put things in perspective for her, but we still had many breakdowns before the final class in December. She got her "A" for the class.

The following semester, Marina would take three courses. And there would be meltdowns again as she adapted to a bigger schedule. But since she opted for two classes she actually wanted and only one required course (the dreaded algebra), she had a much better time. Essays still intimidated her, but she seemed to enjoy her classes much more. This term has been more rigorous, with four classes--honors English 102, honors Psychology, Nature of Mathematics, and Art History. Marina is adjusting again, and we are doing what we can to help by listening, advising, and cheerleading.

This is the one piece of advice I would give to any parents or relatives of a homeschooler beginning college: be supportive and listen. How?

• Instead of saying you're sure they'll do fine, tell them they will get through this. It takes emphasis off of any grades. I don't want my daughter to think I would love her any less because of a grade.
  
• Let them know you are there for them, whether they need you to read through their paper or just to offer a shoulder to cry on. Hug often.
  
• Empathize. If you have a degree and remember your own college days, share your own struggles and how you overcame them.
  
• Offer advice and support, but let them handle the calls, the emails and problem-solving. This is hard. I can't tell you how often I wanted to talk to the professor or make the calls, but this is an opportunity for her to learn to deal with issues and stand up for herself. I may stand in the background and help her figure out what to say and how to say it, but that is where my contribution ends.
• If they are living at home, make sure they eat properly. When Marina is caught up in her work, she can forget to eat. This isn't good if she is 5'2 and only 115 lbs. Especially if she was 120 at her last checkup (why yes, this just happened). Poor nutrition can exacerbate problems like depression and increase susceptibility to illness.
  
• Praise their successes, like when they do well on a test they were worried about.
  
• And please, please don't tell them you had it harder in school. That makes them feel more inadequate with their own struggles. In retrospect, it is easy to see how unimportant it was to worry over classes I can barely remember now. Luckily, I also remember how important those classes were to me at the time and how eager I was to do well. This is my daughter's world right now, and I hope I can help her have as good an experience as possible. It's the journey, after all, and this is just another chapter in the adventure of her life.

Home Spun comic strip #671

College after Homeschooling, Part 1

Some of you may have seen the article, A Homeschooler Goes to College. I found a link to it at The Homeschool Apologist. The article itself was an account of some of the author's first experiences with going to a community college. While it was not at all like my daughter's experience--the author had issues with a professor who treated her unfairly because she was homeschooled--it was definitely interesting to read. I also read through several pages of comments. These comments ranged from helpful advice to mockery and mean-spiritedness. It's funny how complaining about something you've chosen to do causes some people to act like the head of a fraternity during Hell Week. We are not very forgiving about our rites of passage. Starting college is hard. It was hard for me and I didn't homeschool. In fact, the only valid complaint I read in the comments was that the the commenter was hoping for something more informative, along the lines of what to expect as a homeschooler going to college. So I thought I should address that. Full disclosure: I'm writing from my observations and what my daughter has told me about her experiences. Hopefully I can convince her to eventually add some of her own thoughts, but she has a paper due this week and a midterm she's worried about, so I didn't want to stir the emotional pot right now.

Beginnings
My daughter's experience started just before she turned seventeen. Our homeschooling group had arranged a talk and tour at the local community college that was supposed to be geared toward homeschoolers, except this was all new for the admissions counselor, so she couldn't really answer all of our questions, such as earning credits when the child is still high school age. Since Marina was going to be over sixteen, those issues didn't apply to us. We simply took an application to fill out.

The Application
This was the first hurdle. The application asked for all sorts of information, like date of graduation and grade point average. We were stumped. I don't align with grades, and I'm not going to write down an "A" just because it looks nice. So we left a lot of it blank or wrote "homeschooled" on the application. We were told to direct it to the admissions counselor who gave us the tour, so we hoped she would understand. I also pulled out quarterlies I had done during her high school years and wrote up a transcript. Finally, years of following state regulations paid off. After adding work and volunteer experience, it looked more like a job resume, but it was acceptable.

Placement Tests
The next step was placement tests. Like me, Marina has test anxiety (and she never even went to school!) Needless to say, this wasn't her favorite part of the enrollment process. Tests in writing, language skills, and math came one after the other over a three hour period. She was panicked about the essay because she doesn't write fast. That's my fault. From my own school experience I knew writing was painful. I didn't like writing until I started learning to type (thanks for all the typewriter ribbon, Dad). Since actual writing was more important to me than handwriting skills, I encouraged Marina to use the computer. Silly me. Essay tests are still hand written, at least at our community college.

In spite of her complaints that she "got sloppy" at the end of the essay hour, she did awesome. Math however... That was the last section of the test. She was panicked about running out of time and rushed several answers. She failed. A second try at the math portion got her within points of passing, but she still failed. We decided we should consider it a sign that she should take the non credit algebra class. It had been several years since she had studied algebra and that had been the beginning of a lot of her math phobia, so maybe a professor could clarify it for her.

I should point out that she did not take the SAT. Not every college needs this test. I never took it when I went to college, although I did take placements and passed the math section simply because it was all still fresh in my mind. The SAT was originally intended to predict college success, but all that has happened is that an entire industry has been created for the sole purpose of getting high marks on the test. I'm hoping some day all colleges will scrap it as a requirement since all of the test prep skews the results for it.

Through the entire application process, Marina was a mess. She was anxious and uncertain if she was making the right decision. Her main reason for going was that she was tired of being asked what college she was going to. Not really the best reason, but when you are at the end of your homeschooling or high school career, that question often comes up in conversation. Like many teens, she felt that college was expected of her, even if I told her she had other options. She felt directionless, exactly how I felt toward the end of my own high school career. She wanted to go, but at the same time it intimidated her. Since she had never been in school, I suggested she take one class, to ease her way in and see what college was all about.

I'll talk about her first class in Part 2 on Thursday.

Home Spun comic strip #670

This year is fast dwindling. I need to start working on my first quarterlies this week, all the while getting everyone to their activities and classes and jobs on time. Which is why it's nice to know that the when the rare free day appears, I can plan a field trip at the spur of the moment. We did manage to go apple picking this year, although it was a bit too early for buying pumpkins. I'm sure I'll regret that decision later this week.

Home Spun comic strip #669

Just in case you missed the theme for this week, it's stealth learning. And it still works best in this house. Plus there's the added bonus that I learn a few things. Just the other day, I learned how the Babylonians operated their indoor plumbing. Pretty sophisticated! You had a pitcher of water that you poured down a hole in the floor to "flush" the waste away. For other historic bath and toilet anecdotes, check out What You Never Knew About Tubs, Toilets, & Showers by Patricia Lauber.

Home Spun comic strip #668